Who Wants Gentleness?
Many people believe that strength looks like aggression and gentleness looks like weakness. So, who wants to be gentle?
I want to lean into the challenge of intractable problems with as tender a heart as I can locate, knowing that there is some divine ingenuity here, the slow work of God that gets done if we are faithful.
Gregory Boyle, Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion
Personality tests are imperfect, but we nevertheless believe they reveal something of ourselves. When people say, “I am a 9 on the Enneagram” or “I am an ENFP on the Myers-Briggs,” they are referring to something important that they have come to know about themselves.
Do we suppose Jesus had at least as much awareness of his personality traits as we do ours? When we assume that is true, we enter a door that helps us see further into Jesus’ statement that he is gentle. If Christoformity is the goal of Christian spirituality, then “gentle and humble of heart” (Matthew 11:29) is something that deserves our attention. This is especially true in an age of arrogant outrage.
Is Gentleness Really Just Weakness?
A common misconception is that a gentle person is weak or passive. A gentle person would be, therefore, the last kind of person we want to emulate in the tough winner-take-all times in which we live. Many people believe that only fear, hate, condemnation, or dehumanization of others can get things done.
But as soon as we compare the world’s attitudes and practices to the person and work of Jesus, we see that the spirit of our age is 100% misaligned to Jesus’ kingdom movement. Jesus is humanity as God intended. Jesus’ manner of living displays every virtue and goodness that God intends for his people. This includes Jesus’ gentleness.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11:29
When we step out of our cultural moment and into the ethics of the kingdom, the world turns from black-and-white to color. Anything that can be done through bitterness, anger, grievance, retaliation, and hate can be better achieved through love, kindness, compassion, and gentleness.
Paul says that one of the characteristics of the fruit of the Spirit in Jesus followers is gentleness (Galatians 5:22). This word is also translated as kindness. In Galatians, Paul describes the Spirit creating goodness of heart, a gracious nature, and the inner virtue that produces gentle kindness. If the main characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit is love, then we can say that gentleness is tender and kind love in action.
Gentleness is not passive. Rather, it is the godly activity of love, a distinct part of our work and ministry in the world. Gentleness is the quality of heart through which we love and serve others.
Gentleness Is a Good Look
While the Spirit produces gentleness, Paul also writes about our participation in the process. “If we live by the Spirit, let’s follow the Spirit” (Galatians 5:25). In following the Spirit, Paul adopts Jesus’ manner of being. He cultivates the virtue of gentleness and encourages his churches to follow him.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12
Picture your closet or wherever you change clothes. In Colossians 3, Paul is saying you must also rid yourselves of (take off like an old, soiled set of clothes) all such things as anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips—those are the practices of the old self. Rather, he says, put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator (Colossians 3:5-12). We are meant to look like Jesus.
Paul’s imagery suggests slipping into a new garment—dressing in, wrapping our lives in these virtues that include gentleness. Peter says that gentleness and a quiet spirit are an unfading beauty and are of great worth to God (1 Peter 3:4). Paul hopes that our gentleness will be evident to all (Philippians 4:5).
If we want to do good in the world, we must come to have confidence in the notion that love, gentleness—tender and kind love in action—and peace always lead to more permanent change than hatred, harshness and violence.
We see gentleness modeled in Jesus. Jesus would like to see it in us.