When Trust Feels Impossible
In the chaos of life, what is a trusting relationship with God supposed to feel like?
Over the holidays our family learned some new board games. We read the instructions—and did not understand them. We laughed at ourselves, four adults who were struggling with a game that was for 8+. We found a YouTube instructional video and still struggled to understand how to play. At some point we had to just start, doing our best to figure out the game as we went.
Trusting God works that way.
We know the scriptures say we should trust God. But the Bible does not contain a separate set of instructions for how to trust God. Nor are there any Divine YouTube tutorials with cool animation. The gap between should and practical know-how causes confusion and shame. All the while, we wonder what a truly trusting relationship with God is supposed to feel like and what it is meant to achieve in practical daily living. What do you do when you’ve come to the end of your ability to understand real, livable trust?
Proverbs gives us some big hints that trust is central for carrying on in our journey of faith:
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do,
everywhere you go;
He's the one who will keep you on track.
Proverbs 3:5-6, MSG
Let’s break it down.
Trust God. Or said another way, put your confidence in God. Trust is coming to the place that we comfortably, intuitively rely on God. There is a journey to get to spontaneous trust—so be easy on yourself. After all, you are on the path of faith in the easy yoke of Jesus.
From the bottom of your heart: This particular translation by Eugene Peterson captures the flavor of the Hebrew text which points to all, every, any, the whole. For modern English speakers, Eugene’s phrase adds lovely connotations of sincerely, earnestly and fervently. Our relationship with God involves the whole of ourselves, our hearts.
Don’t try to figure out everything on your own: This warning alerts us to the New Testament assurance that we never have to do life alone, that God will never abandon us. To the contrary, he has given us the Holy Spirit to lead us into all truth and to comfort us along the way. We are guided and cared for, freed from trying to figure it all out.
Don’t assume that you know it all: This isn’t the Wisdom Writer engaging in snarky name-calling. It is a gentle reminder that we don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist (1 Corinthians 13:12, MSG). Once we assume there is more and better information, and wiser perspectives in God, we can seek those things in prayer.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go: This phrase is a reminder to seek God’s wisdom and to submit to it. In the New Testament, James fills out this idea in two important ways:
When we assume knowledge that we don’t really have, we inadvertently stop listening for God’s voice. James illustrates this. How do you know what is going to happen tomorrow? For the length of your lives is as uncertain as the morning fog—now you see it; soon it is gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we shall live and do this or that.” Otherwise, you will be bragging about your own plans, and such self-confidence never pleases God (James 4:14-15, TLB).
On our faith journey, one minute we truly seek God, and in the next, we arrogantly ignore him. On that up and down path, I know I need to hear that no matter what, we are always safe in God’s mercy and love. We can always turn back and start again. God will grant us a new beginning. So, if you want to know what God wants you to do, ask him, and he will gladly tell you, for he is always ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask him; he will not resent it (James 1:5, TLB).
He’s the one who will keep you on track: The accent here is on “He.” He who built the track (God) and designed us to run on the track (God) is the best one to keep us on track living virtuous lives, shunning vice, shedding selfishness, living generous lives as the overflow of trusting God’s abundant provision in our lives.
I’ll close with a prayer from Henri Nouwen. You may want to sit with it for a moment, considering the journey of trust all of us are on:
Dear God, I am so afraid to open my clenched fists! Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to [nothing of my own to trust]? Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands [with nothing of my own to trust]? Please help me to gradually open my hands and to discover that I am not what I own [the things I errantly trust], but what you want to give me.
When we pray this prayer, we begin to have the posture of one who trusts God from the bottom of their heart.