When Faith Goes Cold

Instead of alarm, reach for honesty, patience and determination.

“You’re a backslider!”

In the Jesus Movement in which I was saved, the words backslider or backsliding were fearful terms that carried disgrace for the one who received this label. No one wanted to be caught and called out for losing their religious fervor, for returning to old sinful habits, for regressing spiritually, or for losing one’s first love.

Many converts of this era came from the sex and drugs counterculture. Both of those things had become the identity for many young people in the ’60s and ’70s. Many of these same people found faith in Jesus, but some of them slid back into old habits.

Honestly, I don’t love the term backslider. It is a stereotype that carries with it unnecessary stigma. It is often the fruit of judgmentalism. No human being can be judged by a few frames of what is a lifelong movie. Sporadic church attendance or missing Bible Study or home group are often the first signs that cause us to wonder if so-and-so is backsliding, but those are assumptions that we should meet with curiosity, not judgment.

Nevertheless, we have all known moments in ourselves or witnessed in others a cooling of faith. We’ve recognized spiritual apathy in ourselves or church friends.

Not a New Problem

Losing passionate fidelity to God is a phenomenon that shows up often in the Bible.

For instance, though Jeremiah does not use the term backslider, he does, at many points, accuse Israel of turning its back on God in favor of idols. Jeremiah 4:1 is a good example:

“O Israel,” says the Lord, “If you wanted to return to me, you could. You could throw away your detestable idols and stray away no more.

Jesus knows all about the reality of some people falling away after initial faith. In the Parable of the Sower (Luke 8:13) he notes that some seeds of the Gospel fall on rocky ground. They are the ones who:

“..receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away.”

The Apostle John’s addresses to the churches of Aisa Minor in The Book of Revelation includes these words to the Church in Ephesus:

You have left (lost/forsaken) your first love.

Revelation 2:4

The churches John named were experiencing persecution. They had daily temptations to assimilate back into the corrupt, idolatrous social customs of the Roman Empire. They were tempted to pack it in, to give up on faith.

Regarding that state of being, not much has changed in the last 2,000 years.

What can we do when our own faith is fading?

1. Be Honest.

Alcoholics Anonymous knows it. Ignatian spirituality knows it: Spiritual growth begins with a candid assessment of reality. Where am I? What are the forces—internal and external—that got me here? What is keeping me here?

2. Be Patient.

Self-flagellation and shame will get you nowhere. A peaceful, curious, childlike attitude is what you want to cultivate. In the day of Amazon Prime Delivery and AI-empowered searches, patience is a countercultural virtue. But don’t be fooled, patience is one of the best pieces of gear you can carry on the uphill journey to stable, mature faith.

3. Be Determined.

Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.

Romans 12:9, MSG

But try gently; be easy on yourself. Small steps enable a long journey.

“Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame…be cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times.”

Romans 12:11-13, MSG

A Hopeful Reminder

Back in the day, one of my new convert buddies, Hank, backslid because he reunited with an old girlfriend who had no interest in faith. Soon their shared carnal instincts overrode Hank’s faith commitments.

Another friend Sarah backslid because she fell in with a “cool” group of New Age folks who had a tenuous appreciation for Jesus at best.

But you know what? Hank and Sarah found their way again to the path of faith. My friends were no worse than Jonah, who ran away from God, or Peter who denied the Lord. God’s love is better than the best written worship song and his grace more comprehensive than the most articulate theologian, and it powerfully draws us back to him.

If your faith is fading, try the steps I named above.

If a loved one has slid away, don’t panic. It will only alarm them. And often our alarm feels judgmental. Remember, God has not lost sight of them even if they’ve lost sight of him. Just be a safe, pressure-free friend who accompanies them on their journey.

Ask the Spirit to give you discernment about when to speak and what to say. Do your best and then abandon the outcome to God. Your peaceful presence will silently convey loving acceptance.

If Jesus restored Peter on the beach, he can find and restore your friend or loved one, too.