What to Do with a Troubled Heart
Listen, Look, and Live
It’s spring, so my troubled heart shouldn’t be caused by the fatigue, depression, and repressed pleasure that comes to some of us in winter. In fact, the sun rose this morning to reveal divine gifts: cool, clean, crisp air, and bursting dogwoods and azaleas. The trees are leafing, and lawns are greening. These are God’s annual symbols of hope, right?
So, what’s wrong with life?
To say, “everything” seems over the top. I could not defend that statement. In fact, with the barest of reflection, I know it is wrong. Lots of God-inspired good things are happening every moment of every day all over the world.
But looking at the news brings on the feeling of everything. Bits and bytes battle against the it-is-good creation for supremacy in my soul.
In addition, maybe hopelessness comes and goes because I feel so far from difference-making power? (And I have a lot more power than most people in the world!) Maybe I remain frustrated because it is easier to criticize, condemn, and hate than it is to offer fresh, effective solutions to the big problems in the world—or even the little problems facing a small town.
Recently on Pray-As-You-Go, the reading was from Numbers 21, containing the story of sinful Israel, surrounded by venomous snakes. “The people came to Moses and said, ‘We have sinned by speaking against the LORD and against you; pray to the LORD to take away the serpents from us’” (Numbers 21:7).
God told Moses to effect restoration by raising a bronze serpent on something like a flagpole. “So Moses made a serpent of bronze and put it upon a pole, and whenever a serpent bit someone, that person would look at the serpent of bronze and live” (Number 21:9).
My Imagination Activated: From Serpents to Spiders
As I continued my drive to work, my mind shifted to a different image, that of a spider web of sin—personal, social, economic, and political sin—that has us in its grip. I imagined what it is like for a gnat or fly snared, struggling against a power greater than its own, feeling its strength shrinking to zero, losing the ability to breathe, consciousness failing, powerless, about to be a meal for a greater power.
I thought about all the people at my gym, my neighbors, the people at the supermarket, and the vibe on so much social media. Increasing numbers of people are feeling trapped in systems which do them harm and in which they have no meaningful voice. Frustration builds as speaking turns to shouting, shouting to verbal assault, and to assault with sticks and stones meant to violently break bones.
Here we need to center and rely upon the non-violent genius of Jesus and his followers down through the ages. We can kick against the web—we just can’t kick each other. We’ll simply end up with a bruised society, blaming shifting, our pain sidelining us, or fomenting bitterness. None of which comprise a recipe for effective action.
A Lament to Raise Our Eyes
It seems appropriate on this Good Friday, to write a song of lament. We feel the fear of snake bites and the frustration of being powerlessness in the webs of unjust systems. We need the kind of lament that raises our eyes off the ground and our circumstances and up to a Savior who, through his powerlessness, conquered fear, sin, and death.
Life’s full of snakes with painful bites
venom pours through society
Why God, won’t you round them all up,
so our days don’t feel like dark nights.
Moses, pray for us
Christ, be lifted up
Listen, look, and live
From bronze serpent
To Suffering Servant
Lifted from the earth
Sin bites
God gives
New life
Seeing evil and misery
Keeping it real, God, I grumble
I get impatient and fearful
aching for final victory.
Moses, pray for us
Christ, be lifted up
Listen, look, and live
From bronze serpent
To Suffering Servant
Lifted from the earth
Sin bites
God gives
New life
Did God reveal himself to me
just to live in fear and distress
while society locks him out?
Yet I still see he holds the key.
Moses, pray for us
Christ, be lifted up
Listen, look, and live
From bronze serpent
To Suffering Servant
Lifted from the earth
Sin bites
God gives
New life
Look Up.
I make it through each day by reminding myself to look up as often as possible, especially to the crucified and risen Christ. I make myself take breaks from staring out at screens with all the bad news. Looking up to see that God has always provided deliverance for his people does two crucial things:
1) It keeps us from burying our heads in the sand in fear or resignation.
2) It reminds us that there is a mysterious power at work in the world: a bronze snake and a crucified criminal.
Jesus lifted high on the cross gained the Victory over principalities and powers. One day, that Victory will finally and forever set our groaning world free, and everyone who wants to be on God’s side will enjoy his healing presence for eternity.
Look up.