Transforming America's Verbal Violence
What if the healing of God's world comes through a whisper?
After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
1 Kings 19:11-12
I wish we had recordings of the verbal violence that preceded the bayonets and bullets of the Civil War. I imagine strings of cuss words directed at those with rival political views. I see extreme threats against those who might shake up the economic status quo. I can hear religious leaders being told to “shut up” or “go to hell” for bringing up moral issues. I see families, neighborhoods and friendships with differing social and cultural views torn apart as verbal bombs spread their shrapnel. Historians now believe those moments were the small stepping stones of dehumanization that allowed men to kill, rather than love, their neighbor.
I believe it is worth remembering the small moments of dehumanization because our own moment feels comparably loud. Shouting matches break out in congressional hearings. Guests and hosts frequently scream over each other on cable news or talk radio shows.
Our question seems to be, “How do we win against our neighbor?”
The Consequences of Our Words
Jesus taught that our words reflect our hearts. He said, “Whatever is in the heart overflows into speech” (Luke 10:45, TLB).
Our words function as the evidence of our hearts. Jesus said, “By your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:37, NIV).
Jesus taught that the consequences of our verbal violence are real.
This means that verbal bullying not only harms others, but it is also bad for individuals who engage in it. It intensifies a cycle in a person’s heart, meaning a heart naturally bent toward condemnation spills out in verbal attacks. This further habituates the heart in hurtful speech.
Verbal attacks are also bad for social spheres of all kinds: They produce fear and cause people to pull back from relationships. They form the basis of people not engaging honestly from the heart. We seek the safety of distance from those who hurt us with their words. Verbal violence causes us to fight, flee, or freeze—and kills trust in relationships.
There is a better way.
The Confidence to Whisper
Jesus knew the story of Elijah: how God was not in the great and powerful wind, nor in the earthquake, nor in the fire. God was not in what we might call the common noise of our social relations. Elijah heard God in a whisper. This says something about God’s character: He is personal, close, intimate. He does not grab us by the shirt to pull us close and scream in our ear.
Matthew presents Jesus at work in the world, teaching and healing through a similar relational ethic:
[Jesus] won’t yell, won’t raise his voice;
there’ll be no commotion in the streets.
He won’t walk over anyone’s feelings,
won’t push you into a corner.
[But] before you know it, his justice will triumphMatthew 12:19-20, MSG
Most of our damning and belittling words come from trying to win. Jesus initiated the overthrow of all evil, the reversal of injustice, and the healing of God’s creation—and he did it with a quiet voice. There was no public hullabaloo, and he never used words to trample over others or to manipulate them.
Jesus is our model.
The verbal violence we daily see from leaders on our screens, or even hear from our own lips, seems normal, inevitable, and inescapable. But if we listen closely, shutting out hostile noise, there is a Whisper leading us to a different way.
If you have been hurt by verbal violence, I want you to know that you are included in the justice and healing God seeks. Take a moment right now to pause and place your tender, sore soul before God, and sit with this promise:
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3
God’s justice comes in God’s ways. God does not need our verbal bullying to achieve his desired outcome. At the center of all reality is a Trinity of beings who relate in and through loving, respectful words.
Those who see Jesus, who have ears to hear him, who intend to follow him and take on his manner of being, are the hope to transform America's current verbal violence into a place where people who don't agree can engage in a peaceful and civil dialogue.
Great essay. So much truth. Sometimes I think that one of the most tragic lessons well-meaning parents teach their children is - "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." A better teaching would be - "Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. "
Thanks, Greg! I am happy we are on the same learning journey!