Should I Trust People?

Making sense of human imperfection and God’s love

A church member says untrue, unkind things about you behind your back. It keeps you from a position of service. Heartbroken, should you ever trust people again? Trust that particular person? The people who heard the gossip and did not check with you?

By Umur Batur Kocak

Certainly, we should not grant trust to those who are severely destructive—verbally, emotionally or physically abusive. Likewise, we should not trust people who habitually steal, cheat, lie, slander, break promises, or never take responsibility for their mistakes. Loving someone–that is, working for their good in the name of God–may or may not include trust. Made in the image of God, we are all worthy of love, but we have to earn people’s trust.

Even if someone has been perfectly trustworthy so far, they may not be perfectly trustworthy forever. To be human is to err, misjudge situations, and fail others in all manner of ways. Lord knows that when I examine almost 50 years of ministry, I clearly see that I have made unintentional errors of judgment that would cause someone to wonder about my trustworthiness.

Trusting God

Commands to trust God are rooted not in morality per se, nor in religion. Scriptural encouragements to trust God are anchored in his being: his trustworthiness matched to his omnipotence; his wisdom and never-ending, covenantal love; his faithfulness to his creative intentions (his will to do good); and his fidelity to his promises. It is in those terrible moments when people let us down, when they are not trustworthy, that it is especially important to depend on God completely. He truly is our rock and fortress.

Jeremiah saw God’s heart toward his people:

I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, I have continued my faithfulness to you.

Jeremiah 31:3

The Psalmist reveled in his own experience of God’s love:

I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.

Psalm 52:8

Unfortunately, human beings imperfectly demonstrate these Divine attributes. This means I am challenged to hold several truths simultaneously in mind:

1. I am not perfect—I have let people down.

2. My imperfection makes my judgments of others imperfect.

3. No one with whom I have a relationship is perfect.

4. Sometimes I am misunderstood or gaslit so much that I lose trust in my own heart and mind.

Trusting People

We need others in our lives we can trust. We can’t do life without trusting relationships that allow us to confide in others. We want relationships with people we can rely on to help us when we need a friend, are sick, or need help with the overwhelming task of cleaning out our parents’ home after they die.

The challenge is that all my friends, like me, are flawed. They let me down from time to time. Usually this is unintentional. But it is super painful when harm is intended.

In those moments, we are tempted to vow, “I will never trust anyone (or a certain kind of person) ever again!”

Full Trust in God Alone

We may have genuine respect for others and true familial or neighborly love, but we cannot trust others the way we trust the Lord.

That statement is not to diminish any person, but even in the most loving of families and friendships, we experience others as fallible. Try as we do, we are not utterly consistent. Our inconsistencies harm others. They erode trust in even the most solid relationships.

Thus, thoughtless, blind trust is not wise. But to trust “no one” is a sad, judgmental, dysfunctional way to live. We stay off those errant paths by realizing that trusting humans is a judgment call that occurs on a sliding scale.

Jesus, who was perfect in love and flawless in judgment, did not trust everyone. For instance, regarding the crowds who had seen his miracles:

Jesus didn’t trust them, for he knew mankind to the core. No one needed to tell him how changeable human nature is!

John 2:24, TLB

If someone is perpetually late over a long period of time, you may not want to trust them for a ride to the airport. But they could simultaneously be a person you could trust with your wallet or trust to care for your kids.

When in doubt, we can usually take the risk of trusting others in small things. Without such moments of trust, we would be isolated and alone. But in the important moments of life, when something vital is on the line, trust takes thoughtful discernment and mature judgment.

We never want to use such judgments to bludgeon others. We can just quietly seek alternatives. We can humbly remember that we are not 100 percent trustworthy in 100 percent of life’s contexts. I’d be on time for the airport ride, but given my poor sense of direction, you might want to trust me to get you there with the use of a GPS.

It is under the umbrella of full trust in God that we place intelligent trust in others. I do not require perfection of others because I am in the perfect, trustworthy care of God. He’s got my back.

We place our trust in people utilizing a mix of previous experience and a determination about the level and kind of trust needed in a given situation.

Then, we take a deep, peaceful breath and do our best to trust others as an aspect of trusting God. We hope for the best from others. Our full confidence is in God.