Learning to Lament
Do we have the courage to linger in the darkness?
Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?
Psalm 10:1
The sin and suffering of the world bring trouble, pain, confusion, mourning, sadness, hardships, dark fears, and distress to our souls. These are admittedly uncomfortable emotions to feel, yet James Baldwin cautions: We fail to linger in the dark moments at our peril.
Lingering in the darkness for its own sake is not the solution, but rather, we linger in the dark moments so that these emotions rouse lament, the sensation and expression of passionate grief and sorrow. Barbara Holmes offers an example of this transfigured grief:
Like a woman in labor, [in lament] there is expectation in the darkness, anticipation amid the suffering, hope permeating the pain.
What are we to do with the lamentable aspects of life? We process them in conversation with God. Processing grief and sorrow is commonly called prayer. It is simply talking to God about the important, painful, and unyielding elements of our life. The biblical book of Lamentations is a good model, as are many Psalms. Even Jesus offers himself as a model of lament:
During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears.
Hebrews 5:7
No one saw or fully understood the lamentable condition of life on earth more than Jesus. It moved him to lay down his life for the healing of humanity. His model leads us to a key element of Christian spirituality: lament is missional. It orients us to the injustices and pain of others. It moves us, like Jesus, to action. In the same way that God hears our laments, our cries for help, “so in imitation we are to hear the laments of the poor, the weak, and the oppressed.”
But to move from lament to action, we must have the courage to open our eyes, to be willing to linger in the darkness, to see and name what is real about the state of the world and the condition of our souls, and to process all of this within an ongoing conversational relationship with God.
How to Lament
Prayers of lament have a historical four-part pattern:
1. Turn to God in the darkness.
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
Psalm 13:1-2
2. Lay out complaints and name the various kinds of trouble and suffering.
I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out before him my complaint; before him I tell my trouble.
Psalm 142:1-2
3. Ask for help.
Arise, Lord! Lift up your hand, O God. Do not forget the helpless.
Psalm 10:13
4. State trust and hope in the One who can bring light into darkness.
I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
Psalm 13:5
For it is you who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness.
Psalm 18:28
A Perspective of Hope
The daily news screams that “this Jerusalem” is being destroyed. But in the New Jerusalem, God “will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).
This is the perspective that gives us the hope and trust to stay engaged with the lamentable injustices and sufferings of our world and be agents of God’s healing.
If it seems good to you, take 10 minutes this week to write your own prayer of lament. Use the model above as a template for your words. And remember, like Jeremiah in Lamentations, and like the Psalmists, we lament without expecting instant resolution. We know that questions and tears of grief may remain for a time. We are willing to linger in the darkness and feel the pain because, eventually,
We believe we shall see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living.
Psalm 27:13